June 16 2010

I know it has been a while. I have moved, and have had allot going on else where in my life. I haven't had the time to sit in front of a computer for more than 10 minutes here or there. I moved back in April, and it has been wonderful. I love where I live! I get to take the dogs on walks daily, plus, living in an apartment, I feel as though I have my very own private gym! I pretend that I am rich and can just afford such luxuries in life I guess. ha ha.. Scott & I go almost every night to the gym. And there has only been other people there once! I guess we are pretty lucky. I don't like doing the gym equipment, but they have a racquetball room there, and it is SO much fun. And on top of being fun it really gets me sweating. Which is a wonderful thing. I normally don't break a sweat doing anything else. And I also love taking walks now, which is very nice. We take our dogs and go around the entire complex. It's been a real joy. I have also been eating allot less, more healthy foods. Although I am exercising the most I ever have in my life, and am eating less, more healthy foods, I am not seeing a huge drop in weight loss. From May 3 to today I have lost 14 lbs. Which is good, I just want more. I feel like I am making a true effort here, and I want to see more of a result that what I am. At first it all dropped off quickly, but it's been weeks now with out seeing any loss at all. Which is very hard, and very discouraging. On mothers day of this year I had a huge eye opening, jaw dropping epiphany. It was wondrous. And my Scotty, has been here through it all. I really owe allot to him now. He's been here through some pretty hard times with me. On mothers day I realised something so tragic. If I didn't change my course in life I was going to end up being bedridden and have to use one of those fat people carts at the store. Not that there is anything wrong.. With that picture necessarily. But that is not what I want for ME! No.. It's not. It never has been. I don't know why it took me this long to realise something so obvious.. But it has. I wanted to lose weight before. But nothing like this. It's like it's in my core now. Not to overeat. Not to just sit on my ass 24/7.. And to be honest, now I even want to go to the gym everyday! Who would of ever thought! ME!! Wow. I am taking a good hard look, at myself. And I can tell you my trigger foods, are deserts and going out to eat. So to remedy this, I have not been eating out as much, if I get fast food, it's a kids meal size. And if I have a desert, it's only once a week. And really I haven't even had that much desert since I have had this awaking. I have stopped completely getting things out of the vending machine. Trying to eat more complex carb like whole grains. Eating more protein and fiber so I feel fuller longer. And don't get me wrong. I still have had moments of weakness. Where I do still over eat. But not nearly as much as it was. And now I feel guilty about doing it, and I try to work it off. So overall I would say I am in a much better place because of this. I am concentrating on being more fit. Getting on Sparkpeople.com more often, after working the stages.. And I joined OA - Over eaters Anonymous.. Which has been working out really good. I feel like if I focus on not overeating it will be easier not to. I have some wonderful support right now in my family that I am just grateful for. That's all for now. Thanks for listening.